ΚΑΙ ΟΙ ΜΠΑΜΠΑΔΕΣ ΚΛΑΙΝΕ (ΑΓΓΛΙΚΑ)

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The truth is fathers do cry
Mar 29 2007 Steve Bayliss, Pontypridd Observer

Most fathers know what it is like to be greeted at the end of the day with those welcoming, loving words, 'Daddy's home' - to sweep their children up into their arms and ask how school was.

But imagine you haven't seen your children for six weeks, six months ... or even six years. How would you feel?

Could you just say, 'oh well' and get on with life and never look back? Or would you do whatever you could to see them and be a part of their lives?

In the absence of their children, many fathers can't just simply 'move on.' When it happened to me, I never realised how painfully slow and emotionally destructive sorting matters out through the family court system could be.

There's a saying that 'Men don't cry,' but it's just a saying. Men do cry, maybe not in public, but behind closed doors while browsing through old photos of their children.

However, there came a point when some men grew sick of just crying and hoping things would one day turn out all right. They called themselves Fathers4Justice and decided they would 'shake things up' a little.

Mahatma Gandhi said: 'Be the change you want to see in the world.' F4J decided to be a force for that change - and I opted to be a part of that. And while not everybody agrees with their tactics, hopefully many will agree with their cause.

I think the reason some people disagree with F4J is because of a number of misconceptions; one of which is that it is just for fathers. The title of the group, then, is perhaps a bit misleading; especially since they claim one third of the group is made up of women and also a number of grandparents.

Fathers4Justice isn't about a battle of the sexes, but about a child's right to enjoy a loving relationship with both parents.

Another misconception is that all the members of F4J have been prevented by court rulings from seeing their children. Some assume therefore that these dads are just 'thugs' who are unwilling to take NO for an answer. Those misconceptions are far from the truth.

Many F4J members DO have a right to see their children but it is frequently not enforced by courts when the resident parent breaks the existing contact order.

Fathers generally get a raw deal when it comes to contact orders. Even where there is one in operation, dads are often only allowed to see their children for two hours a fortnight - and then only under supervision. You can imagine how painful it must be, then, when no one is in when dad calls round for his fortnightly visit; or the children are 'ill' on a regular basis and so can't see him that day. And yet fathers pay thousands of pounds to go to court, and the emotional pressure and financial sacrifices can be huge; at times resulting in bankruptcy or even suicide.

The stunts F4J have been involved in have caused much controversy. What people don't realise is that fathers have tried the 'sensible' route, but the Government refuses to listen. There is little wonder then that dads resort to such methods in an effort to gain equal treatment.